CHAPTER 17

It was fifteen minutes past ten. The night was refreshingly cool as it had rained earlier. I picked up the phone and dialed Jean-Claude's number. Someone picked the call up on the fourth ring.

"Allô!"
"Bonsoir. Je voudrais parler à Jean-Claude, s'il vous plaît," I said nervously.

"Un moment." A pause. "Jean-Claude, on t'appele au téléphone!"

Another pause.

"Allô, Jean-Claude içi," his familiar voice sounded sleepy.

"C'est Gabriel. Tu viens de rentrer?"

"Oui. Ça va, toi? Vraiment?"

I assured him that everything was all right. It was only that I was having a little problem at work, c'etait tout. How was my Frenh, he asked. Was I comfortable with Mme Le Blanc? Oui, elle etait magnifique, I said. Oh? Plus magnifique que lui, he asked. No, he was different, I assured him. And I sort of missed him sometimes.

"Ah, c'est vrai?" he asked.

"Oui, c'est vrai."

Each year, fourth year students at DR Residential who were involved in extra-curricular activities would find themselves burdened with loads of responsibilities as other members of their clubs or societies, especially their third year and fifth year counterparts, took the back seat to concentrate on their studies and face their examinations. I was no exception.

Apart from serving the clubs of which I was already a member, I was appointed to be on the editorial panel for the school's yearbook, writing about sports and recreational activities and achievements during the whole year. Adrian was on the panel, too, in charge of editing English articles and writing other school activities reports.

I enjoyed my new responsibility, especially when it gave me ample opportunities to get close to those dreamy athletes! Interviews after interviews were conducted for my articles. Some interviews took place in the cafeteria, some in the locker room, some between practice, and some in bed -- the athletes' and sometimes mine.

By the end of that year, I had earned a "reputation" among the boys -- especially those in the know -- at school. Some threw me dirty looks whenever I walked by. Some gave me horribly suggestive nicknames, some came right up to me and told me how disgusting they thought I was. And quite a few came to me to find out whether I lived up to my reputation.

On my part, I was indifferent. I went about doing my own stuff like usual, although at nights, things were a little chaotic. My sleep was often disturbed, fending off curious, horny late night visitors.

On Ben's suggestion, I began sleeping less and less in my own bed, seeking night-time solace in friends' rooms. It was not that I wasn't unflattered by all the attention I was getting, but the resolution that I had made earlier after the nasty experience with Nick stuck fast in my mind. I wanted to play, but according to my own rules. And I certainly would want to choose my own players.

I made Kyle understand this rule after my right fist sent him sprawling on the floor of his room one steamy afternoon.

CHAPTER 16

A week went by before my next encounter with Tommy. I was walking back from the library to my room late one night when I ran into him. He said he had been studying too and needed a break. I offered to make him a cup of hot chocolate in my room.

As I was boiling water in the boiler jug, Tommy explained that he was having problems with his French and wondered if I would be kind enough to help. I said I would be glad to, but if he needed professional help, he could go to the French Club room where a tutor was readily available to help students in his position.

Later, when he rose to go, I told Tommy that he could spend the night in my room. If he wanted to, he could have Ben's bed, as Ben had gone home for the weekend for his sister's birthday. Tommy needed no persuasion. But instead of taking Ben's bed, he took the liberty of setting himself next to me in my bed. I gladly made room for him, having noticed earlier the same look he had given me on my birthday.

We didn't do anything at first, only contented ourselves with lying in each other's arms, fully clothed. With light fingers, I traced the outline of his body, his skin taut to the touch. Tommy caressed my face with the back of his palm, his index finger gently touching my eyes and lips.

The inevitable had to happen. Looking into each other's eyes, we began to undress. I gasped with anticipation as he slipped out of his jock strap.

Tommy was indeed big, but great he certainly wasn't. He might have been a snarling tiger on the rugby field, but in bed he was a whimpering, simpering old cat.

CHAPTER 15

I woke up late the following morning and missed my first class. But then, I didn't feel like doing anything, anyway. So I developed a splitting migraine and went to the school infirmary and cajoled the nurse on duty to sign a medical slip excusing me from classes.

The slip tucked in my pocket, I headed for the library, plonked myself at a table in a secluded corner and remained there the whole day, licking my wounds.

I had, up to that time, already experienced pain associated with the loss of loved ones -- K.C., my father -- and the chagrin of letting Eddie go. But the shock and hurt that came with deception was something that I was totally unprepared for. I didn't quite know how to deal with it.

I emerged from the library that evening with a dull, strange feeling. A note from Adrian I found taped to my pillow did not help either. On a piece of paper torn form his exercise book, he wrote:

"Gabriel,

I don't quite know what to make of last night. However, I'm pretty sure that I don't want to be a channel for you to vent off your frustration. Until you're ready to talk, I think I'd better stay away for a while.

Cool Dude."

I crumpled the note and threw it into a waste basket. A few minutes later, I retrieved it, smoothed the paper and put it in my scrap book. That was the only note that Adrian ever wrote to me, and for some reason, I wanted to keep it.

My mind cleared little by little as I showered and got ready for dinner. Something in Adrian's note struck me. I took it out and read it again. I had abused Adrian's body that night without feeling anything for him. The act was brutally mechanical. I went through the motion without any emotion.

Motion without the emotion? I smiled to myself. Yeah, that was it, I thought. From now on this was how I'd be, how the game would be played, and we would all see who'd get the last laugh. Dinner time saw me waltz into the dining hall, smiling and laughing as if nothing had happened.

That weekend I turned sixteen. Ben bought me a birthday cake and we invited some friends over to share it. Among Ben's was Tommy, who he claimed was only a good buddy. Ben had joined a Bible study group to suppress and renounce all the impure feelings he had for Tommy, and had asked Tommy to do the same.

From the way he looked at me that night I could tell that Tommy had not seen the light.