CHAPTER 9

Relationships between boys at DR Residential and, I assumed, at other similar schools were not uncommon. Shut in an enclosed and protected environment, boys would always be, well, boys. Having been "involved" with Tony, I had expected to encounter similar situations at the school. The incident with AJ, however, came too soon after Tony. My heart was still bleeding.

In the following weeks, I avoided AJ like a plague. He sent me several messages, some marked "URGENT". I read but ignored them. Fearing that I might slight my Cinema Club responsibilities, I quit, and the messages stopped coming.

I spent the rest of the year hitting the books as my grades were falling considerably. My sister was concerned and wrote letters laden with advice and encouragement, topped with wishes that I would do well in the coming year-end examinations.

The exams ended, and I reinstated myself in the ranks of "A" students. I was elated and quickly sent the good news home. My sister wrote back, happy that I was happy. She had just returned from her annual vacation and had enjoyed herself very much. She told me that she also bought me a present. A surprise, she said.

In the last paragraph of her letter there was a brief mention about my father. He passed away two weeks earlier.

I was never close to my father. As far back as I could remember, he had always been sick. When I was little, my mother used to deposit me at a neighbour's house as she needed to look after him. When I was big enough to understand the gravity of his illness, I often had to stay away from the house, partly to escape contagion as well as his wrath.

However, after reading my sister's letter that day, I was hit by a strange, empty sensation. I went about feeling dazed the whole afternoon. Later that night, my room-mate Ben found me sobbing into my pillow. In between sobs, I told him that my father had been dead two weeks and I only learnt about it that very day.

Ben did not say anything. He brought me dinner from the dining hall and left it on my desk. Next to it he placed a small prayer book and a rosary.